“Engaged but Emotionally Distant: When Effort Doesn’t Feel Returned”

I am a 22-year-old man, and I got engaged to a 17-year-old girl. Since our engagement, I have been trying my best to give her everything I can emotionally and materially, and to make her feel valued and special. However, it has been six months now, and I don’t feel that my efforts are being appreciated in the way I expected. Instead, my actions are often questioned, and sometimes she says I haven’t done anything for her.

She also doesn’t seem very open in communication. When we talk, her responses are usually very short, mostly “yes” or “no.” I try to keep things light and meaningful, as I would like this engagement period to be a time of connection—talking freely, sharing experiences, and even going out for simple dinners—but she doesn’t seem interested in that kind of interaction.

For example, I bought her dresses for Eid, hoping she would feel happy and express her thoughts about them. But she didn’t really share whether she liked them or not. She also didn’t send me her pictures on Eid willingly. When I asked, the pictures she sent felt more like a formality than something shared with interest.

Another concern is that she prefers to talk only at specific times, mostly at night, and says she cannot use her phone during the daytime. I am currently studying at university, while she is not studying, and I sometimes feel that this difference in lifestyle or mindset may be creating distance between us.

Because of all this, I often feel emotionally disconnected. Even though we are engaged, I don’t truly feel the sense of partnership I was expecting. I’m confused whether I should simply wait until marriage and hope things improve, or whether this emotional distance is something I should seriously think about now.